I am Devil's Creation, Heaven's Reject

2007-11-26T22:47:00.000+08:00

The final month of the year is coming..

soon will be saying x'mas greetings...
and aft that the bells will ring for the arrival of the new year..

time flies..
and i'm still missing you..

my only x'mas wish is to be able to meet up with u..
even if its just for 5 mins i'll be contented..

2007-10-08T01:00:00.000+08:00

sept came and went..
well i had a special b'day spent..
i spent it with loads of ppl that made impacts in my life..
and i'm thankful..
my regret was that u were unable to turn up..
the mere presence would have made the event a whole lot more special..
well i'm still grateful for all that has happen..

recently my friends has been in dilemmas,
one is troubled,
well expectations are always hard to meet..
esp the expectations of ppl..
not all are able to meet those kinda of expectation..
but juz be happy in all situation..
choose wisely the roads and lead a carefree life..

i learn not to live in the past..
but it seems the past keeps poping up in the present..
its like the shadow tat trails u all day long..

cooking and bartending is my life now..
i'm loving every min of it..
though i'm unable to spend much time..
still learning how things complement each other makes it a whole more worthwhile..
gonna need some test subjects for my cooking..
aud, ting and mel.. dun u all run.. =P

2007-08-30T23:18:00.000+08:00

Been awhile..
Sept is approaching...
haiz...

well was going tru some songs..
a song made me think..
the title of the song: Way Back Into Love by Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett
this song kinda stills grips me..

well its kinda true..
i've been trying to find my way back to devote one's self to a cause..

eversince nth has happen..
i've been trying to scrap things...
been trying to forget the past..
haiz...
when will i be able to...

2007-07-25T00:05:00.000+08:00

Your disappearing acts surpasses even the great Houdini..
without a word or even an audience..
you will perform it to such flawlessness..
At the beginning i was startled..
didn't know wat to do..
panic i was..

after awhile you re-appear as fast as you had disappear..
but it wasn't to last..
this time round..
i've grown weary..

so weary that i dunno wat i'm feeling anymore..
you always play ur acts..
perhaps i shld juz call fold..
cuz i've already show-hand..

life is a gamble..
a huge game of risk..
heads you win..
tails you lose..

i resign to my fate..

2007-07-09T22:15:00.000+08:00

well.. i was requested to blog again..

seriously i dunno wat to blog abt..
recently times has been depressing..
news of joy has been rare..
i have worn the smiley mask yet again..

well i really have to thank ting and aud for trying to cheer me up..
they kinda know the reason y i've been kinda depress lately..
aud is juz like a little sis.. playful at times and kinda understanding..
thanks for providing the listening ears once in awhile.. =)
ting ar ting.. lol.. always hiting me at work..
haha.. STOP HITTING ME!!! lol..
dunno wat to write le.. lol..

2007-06-29T09:43:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

2007-05-18T02:09:00.000+08:00

*disclaimer* if anyone seen the previous post.. well it ain't targeted to any one.. cuz this is something that happen in my past.. that i raked up.. it a delicate past that i dun want it to be known.. prolly some of u might link it to the present.. but it aint that.. this matter happended 6 yrs ago..

2007-05-16T00:29:00.000+08:00

this is still a safe haven for my soul..
its been restless..
time really makes a fool of man..
trust is such a tough word to view..

how much trust can u put in a person??
too much and a single bretrayal will crumble ur once safe life..
too little and it makes u a worried wort..
a delicate balance i can't find..
all i done is to shield my sad side..
my anger and all my other emotions are locked away..

only occasional words will come abt for me to release my thoughts..
words which will subdue the raging beast in me..

emotions hard to handle and control..
my buddy saw it once and told me dun ever let ur anger out..
its frightening..
like a erupting volcano..

Those were in the past..

well.. even if u were to come across this post.. well..
gd luck for every thing.. i won't hinder your happy life..
stay happy..

2007-05-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

Scouring the vast lands and oceans.
Only seeking for one's own dream.
Is the seeker seeking a lost cause?
Or has the dream ended?

2007-05-06T15:56:00.000+08:00

I have not been writing much lately, due to my commitments.
Well just didn’t have the inspiration to write.

Maple leaves have fallen yet again.
Enveloping the once dust ridden road.
Lively chirps fill the air once more.
Orange hued sky the sun is setting.
Dusk it is once more.
Yearning for a new day to begin.

Penned by Takuhara27

2007-02-12T23:32:00.000+08:00

Hi peeps,
Its been quite awhile..
Cobwebs are abundance in this blog..
Well, in 2 more days is the most commercialised day..
Saint Valentines’ Day, commonly known V-Day..
How it came about is history..
Dun wanna bore ppl and talk about how Saint Valentines’ Day came about..

This post is for the special ppl in my life..
Eventhough we can’t be together..
Each of you build a part of me..
Each setback I faced killed part of me..
With each setback..
The inner battle begins..

Most of you won’t know I have 2 extremely diff personalities..
Conflicting..
The one u see is the quiet, cheerful, helpful one..
The one that rears its ugly head during each setback in life..
Its dark.. almost like the devil himself…
Thus the name of the blog..

Well..
Those special ppl killed part of the devil..
Eventhough I still lament myself for wat I did and did not do..

Well.. here.. share with u all the song that has been playing on my Itunes and Ishuffle..
And Happy Early Saint Valentines’ Day..

Creep – Radiohead

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again
She's running out
She runs runs runs runs...runs...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong hereI don't belong here...

2006-12-21T08:38:00.000+08:00

3 Doors Down - Here By Me

I hope you’re doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

I can’t take another day without you
'Cause, baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

And everything I have in this world
All that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

As the days roll on I see
Time is standing still for me
When you’re not here
I’m sorry I can’t always find the words to say
Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

x2
And everything I have in this world
And all that i'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

2006-12-19T08:15:00.000+08:00

~ Can't Let Go (Landon Pigg) ~

Well you're the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didnt last
But I could never call you mine
Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we justify destiny
Its not that our love died
Just never really bloomed

Well I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt OK about it.
Until you got with another man,
And then I couldnt understand
Why it bothered me so.
How we didnt die we just
Never had a chance to grow.

I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past.
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the
Things I do.
And you cant lose what you never had
I dont understand why I feel sad
Every time I see you out with someone new.

I cant let go
No, I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you.

I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back.

I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
Youre holding me back without even trying to.
I cant let go
I cant move on from the past

2006-12-18T09:48:00.000+08:00

Part 4 (Stupidity and Naiveness)
(final: the story ends here hanging just like how things truly are)

He tried to fall in love with another. He searched and searched. He got to know a few. But they all are shadows of her. They are partially like her. Be it character wise or look wise. There is a tint of her in them.

He made no progress in trying to dislodge himself from her.

Even being friends was tough. Emotions tend to run high. He wants to kill those emotions. He doesn’t want to lose her. He really loves her.

2006-12-18T08:15:00.000+08:00

Part 3-3 (Irony)

All the sweet and thoughtful things he did and made didn’t move her. One night, she told him. She said "I’m sorry, there is no feeling. I can’t reciprocate what you gave." Those words were like knives stabbing through his heart, his mind and lastly his soul.

Over the next couple of days, he isolated himself. Subsequently he kept everything to himself. He knew its her that he wants. But her words were deeply etched in his mind. Images of her seem to have woven itself to his dreams. She told him to find someone else.

2006-12-15T12:39:00.000+08:00

Part 3-2 (Irony)

What happen that night was like a dream to him, he finally truly enjoyed someone’s company. He slept well that night. Over the next course of weeks, he continued to chat with her online and through smses. Some days they even had breakfast together, he felt true joy.

Then it happens, he didn’t know why. But her messages got lesser, he sees her online greeted her. She went offline without a word. Suddenly, the world seems so dark. He was worried he wonders what he has done wrong.

Her birthday was a week away, he decided to bake a brownie for her birthday. He sources for recipes and tried it. Wasn’t good on his first try. He decided to reduce some ingredients and add some to enhance the taste. He wanted it to be fresh, so the night before he wanted to give it to her he baked it. He didn’t sleep, he stayed up the whole night making and baking it. At 3 am the whole house was filled with the aroma of the brownie baking in the oven. By 4.30am it was done, he left it out to cool it before cutting it and put it in a nice metal tin.

That morning he went to school to help out in an event, so he left her a message telling her that he wanted to meet her during lunch to pass her something. No reply so he had lunch with his friends. The tin was in a bag so he carried it along for lunch just in case he saw her along the path. He waited and waited, he was really quiet that day his friends realise something was amiss, he just told them he wanted to pass her a present. After lunch she replied, the smile was back on his face. She said she went to swim that’s why she replied late. He told his friend he will come by later to help at the event, caused he had something more important to him than anything else. He ran to meet her. Pass her the bag, walked with her back to the computer lab where she was going to do her project. He didn’t get to see her eating it, he really would love to just sit there seeing her eat it. It was the first time he made something for a girl, and this girl is truly someone he loves.

2006-12-15T09:14:00.000+08:00

Part 3-1 (Irony) (this part is quite long. so I’m breaking it into parts.)

The time came, first time going out together, he wanted it to be perfect. He arrange things nicely, was early to get the tickets to a movie. The movie was titled " A lot like love", he made his way down to the station which they agreed to meet. He stood there waiting, half an hour passed he was still there waiting. During that half-hour, he didn’t message her to ask where she was, cause he was early and didn’t want to rush her. After the half-hour mark past, he messaged her, she said she was going to be late cause she had just finished tutoring her cousin. All he said was "never mind, take your time. Don’t need to rush." Then he just stood there at the train station waiting for the next 45 minutes before she came. When he saw her getting out of the gantry, he heaved a sigh of relief. "She made it." He said to himself. He made up his mind then, that he wouldn’t mind waiting for her, standing there like a fool, as long as she makes it.

After an exchange of friendly greetings, they made their way to a café nearby. He ordered a chocolate fondue and glass of iced mango drink, she had a hot drink. He knew that she loves chocolates, even though he really didn’t like the taste of chocolate he shared the fondue with her so as to not let her know his dislike for chocolates. She didn’t know that he started eating chocolates caused of her love for chocolates. They chatted while finishing up the fondue, he took the napkin, and started to roll and fold. She had a puzzled look on her face, when he was done rolling and folding, he handed her a napkin rose. She was amaze with what she saw, she wanted to learn it. He requested for another napkin from the waitress, and started teaching her how to fold the napkin rose. He is willing to do or fulfil any of her requests as long as it was within his means. Time pass, he realised that they were gonna be late for the movie. He called for the bill and wanted to pay for it. But she was faster, she paid for it and said this is for the band with a smile. He conceded defeat then. Off they go making their way to the cinema, luckily the cinema was nearby just a street away.

They made it, the show just began when they sat at their seats. The show was touching with a tint of humor, which made it a heartwarming and heart wrenching at some point of the movie. After the movie, they made their way to a mall nearby for dinner.

He chose this certain Japanese restaurant as he finds the food delectable and it has a nice ambience. They got the corner seat, which was the seat he was hoping to get. Seriously he didn’t know she didn’t really like seafood, only after they made the orders she told him that she choked on fish bones when she was young and she is kinda allergic to prawns. He then realised he made the wrong choice of restaurant. He was really sorry, but he didn’t know what to say. The rest of the meal he listened to her about her family and friends. Then she suggested to head to somewhere for dessert, he paid the bill for the meal this time.
They made their way, to this traditional Chinese dessert store. It was nostalgic, wooden tables and the dessert was served in ceramic bowls. Great place. They continue the chat, over dessert. It was already 9.30pm then when they finished. She suggested walking to another train station to head home. He really enjoys her company, so he didn’t mind the long walk they were about to take.

The night breeze was cooling and walking beside him was someone, he hoped to walk the path of life with. Even though it seems stupid for him to think that way after the first outing. He was falling, falling in love with her.

2006-12-14T12:40:00.000+08:00

(Part 2: Confidence)

That night the scene just kept playing in his head, how he wished he wasn’t slightly introvert in nature. He got out of bed, turned on his computer and went online. He searched and searched friendster, hoping he would manage to find her on it. Minutes gone by and pass into hours, finally he found her. He heaves a sigh of relief, but another matter was worrying him. Should he add her? He pondered it over the weekends, on Sunday night, he finally decided to add her. When he added, his heart was in a whirl unsure what that feeling was, it was a mixture of hope, relief, excitement and woes. He wasn’t sure that night when he added her was her email written on the profile. He was sure he didn’t saw it there and then when he found her profile.

About 2 days later, she accepted his request to add her on friendster. He was elated, it was then he saw her email written there. Was it coincidence? He didn’t know, so he raked up the courage in him to take her email and add her on MSN messenger as he finds that she is quite friendly and all. True enough she accepted him yet again, the confidence was building step by step.

Couple of days later, he said "Hi" to her on MSN. She replied, he go about introducing himself to her. She couldn’t remember the toe stepping incident, cause she said she has a bad memory to begin with. Each conversation with her was building that confidence and his feelings for her start to grow while learning about her character.

One morning, he was sitting at McDonald’s with his buddies to have breakfast before the start of classes. He saw her, she walked past them and sat a distance away. Plucked up the courage, left his buddies to sit and chat with her. He walked up to her, "Hi, Good Morning" with a slight stammer, crossed his fingers hoping she didn’t hear the nervousness in his voice. She looked up, smiled and replied. Her smile just took his breathe away, in his eyes she has the best smile. Quickly he snapped back to reality and asked whether he could sit with her. Since she was ok with it, he just sat down. Topics that they talked about was random, time pass, he was gonna be very late for class, even his buddies messaged him to let him know they have gone to class first. He didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay and chat he wanted to know her more. She noticed he was wearing a nike rubber wristband, she asked, where did he got that from. He answered her accordingly, she told him, she wanted a similar wristband but it was the armstrong nike rubber wristband which can’t be found in Singapore anymore. He told her, " I’ll help u search for it" before leaving for class.

When he got home that day, he began his online search for the wristband. He found someone in Singapore selling it, so he emailed the guy and arranges to meet the guy to purchase the wristband.

The day to meet the guy was here, but he was sick yet he still made his way to Teban Gardens to purchase the wristband before rushing for noon classes. When he got to school, he saw her in McDonald’s doing her project with her classmates. As he was late, he went to class first. Class was just an hour and there was a break, he took up courage and went to McDonald’s, with her friends around her, he walked up to her and passed her the band, she was shocked. He didn’t know what she was feeling he just said, "For you" and he felt the presence of her friends and felt kinda awkward, he wanted to just bolt out of McDonald’s. She said thanks before he turned and left. He left McDonald’s to meet his buddies at a canteen. While walking, his handphone beeped, she messaged. She wanted to pay for the band, but he didn’t want her to pay for it. So he said, why don’t we go out in exchange for the band? She said ok, he jumped for joy. He was so happy. Will it last?

2006-12-14T08:12:00.000+08:00

This is a 3 or 4-part story of a guy and his emotions; (Part1: First Sight)

Almost about 2 years ago, he was asked to help out in a school orientation by his friend, as he was trusted to do a good job no matter what by his friend. So he came down with no expectations what so ever, with the thought of helping his friend. It was a 2 or 3 day event, the guy couldn’t really remember. Through out the days, the guy help out in anyway possible for the orientation from moving stuff, to distributing food. He caught glimpse of someone, whom made his heart kind of skip a beat or 2. But due to the slightly introvert self, he just continued doing his job ignoring the feelings brewing inside.

Then came the rehearsals for the orientation finale, again his help was sought after to represent his friend in the club performance as he was the stage manager and he couldn’t be out there on stage. So as the trusty right-hand friend, he joins in the rehearsals. To his amazement, the girl was also involved. She was part of another performance for the same event. He was jittery while doing his job, during the rehearsals his eyes could help locating that sunshine girl. He knew something wasn’t right, the feeling that he hasn’t felt for so long is back there and then it was brewing in him.

On the day of the final rehearsals, the in-charge requested a rehearsal for the final item, which all performers have to gather on stage. So on went the rehearsal, he got on to the stage for the final item.
What he didn’t know was, she was just behind him. Thinking that no one was behind him, he took a step back. "Ouch!" filled his eardrums, unknowingly he had stepped on her toes. He turned to apologize, upon realizing it was her toes he stepped on, his face flushed while he said, "Sorry". His heart nearly jumped out of his mouth while saying that, quickly he turn back to the front, but still he manage to hear her say, "Its alright". Upon hearing that, there was a sigh of relief at least he heard her voice, to him it was melodious.

2006-12-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

Care and concern is what I gave.
Loneliness and not love was what I got.
As life proceeds, the road darkens.
Rendering my road as dark as a starless night.
Am I able to see the light at the end of the tunnel?

2006-12-13T09:03:00.000+08:00

Its been awhile.. Decided to penned things down..
Instead of bottling it all up.. And die choking..

Life has been hard, haven’t feel this way since I lost my maternal grandma.
In my dictionary, the word joy and happiness seem to have ceased to exist.

The more I try to grab or hang on to hope, joy or happiness, the more I lose.
Ppl say, love/happiness come to those who wait.
(Haven’t I waited long enough?)

Ppl say, love/happiness is reward to those who self sacrifice.
(I give up personal time for my friends and someone,
Upon a call, I’ll take a cab down. Days that ur friends are busy, I’ll rush to keep u company.)

The picture of you floats in my mind, you sleeping on the pacific coffee couch is just so beautiful.
Days pass into Weeks pass into Months, since I last saw you.
Everytime my Hp beeps, I wish it was you.
Everytime a chat window pops up, I wish it was you.
Another X’mas is coming and yet again the feeling of joy and happiness eludes me.

2006-06-17T15:03:00.000+08:00

3 Doors Down - When I'm Gone

There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Or maybe I'm just blind...
Or maybe I'm just blind...

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone...

When your education x-ray
Can not see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Now roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Maybe I'm just blind...

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when im wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone...

Love me when I'm gone
When I'm Gone

2006-06-08T00:12:00.000+08:00

I'm standing on a cliff..
looking down..
This familiar scene..
has been repeated over and over..
When will it end..

The crashing waves..
increasing the tempo of the heart..
The ocean below beckons..
My life to be washed away..

The sun is setting..
I'm all alone..

By the next crashing wave..
I'm gone..

Confidence..
Life..
Hope..
All washed away..
By the cruel waves called..
REALITY..

Upon the foot of my grave..
A stalk of white rose..
Left behind by a little kid..
a mark in life..
a moment in time..

-Takuhara27-

2006-06-07T07:14:00.000+08:00

Mood: unexplainable, deillusioned
Music playing: Bon Jovi - I'll Be There For You
Lyrics:

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide

You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore

Now I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance, girl

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

2006-06-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

"When the Jews return to Zion And a comet rips the sky
And the Holy Roman Empire rises, Then You and I must die.
From the eternal sea he rises, Creating armies on either shore,
Turning man against his brother 'Til man exists no more. "

Taken from the movie the Omen..
a nice movie..
but a cliff hanger ending..
hmmm..
i kinda like this quote..
and i wanna name my first son either lucifer or damien.. =D
hahha..
ppl will think i'm sick..
well den..
look at the tab of this IE window..
=D

how funny things turn out to be.. i dunno how long can i take this lonliness..

2006-06-06T07:07:00.000+08:00

its the 6/6/06
all these talk abt judgement day and all..
well how i hope to have a kid or be born on this day..
and name or be named lucifer..

its judgement day..
well.. not saying it will confirm be end of the world..
i'll be letting things go on such a day..
well at least it marks down a day which everything shld be destroyed by the birth of anti-christ..
so i shall destroy my past..
and remould my future..
hope i can do it..
in the power lucifer..
haha..
kidding..

if only i gotten to know a friend like u earlier..

2006-06-02T23:25:00.000+08:00

Its the 2nd of june..
another 1/2 hr would be miss cai huimin's birthday..
hahaha..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISS CAI HUIMIN!!

back to my life...
today helped out at the EPC at the TFA..
well..
it was fun working with kumar again..
hahaha..
crappy guy..
during the event..
somethings cock up..

today was the day which my grp handed up our B.E.S.T assignment..
everything was completed..
things look gd..

today is also the last day which i'll be at ELDC..
nxt wk onwards will be in KM..

hope i'll be in the small room..
hahha..

Janice..
if i move to the small room..
means i won't be in the big "fish tank" le..
i hope to down-size the "fish tank"..

2006-05-31T06:59:00.000+08:00

Finally.. i snapped...
i'm derailed..

the last time it happen..
my best friend jef was there..
kinda talk me tru..
and that was like 4-5 yrs ago..
a coming 15 yrs friendship..
a great friend..
sometimes a gd drinking buddy..
soon he is going in..
civil defence..
bro watever u do in there dun ever be mat...
otherwise i beat the living daylights out of u for u to change back..

last nite the feeling was terrible..
a whole mixture of feeling..
it was like u mixed the wrong alcholic drinks together..
gotta thank someone..
who was there.. talked me tru..
calm me down.. otherwise..
i would have gone drinking..
and with my condition i would prolly drop dead..
prolly u all dunno tat..
but i have high-blood pressure..
alcholic drinks = high percentage of death..

Thanks.. =)

2006-05-27T08:53:00.000+08:00

today is the 27th of may le..
think is more den a month since my last entry..

well..
updates:

the past month been a emotional rollercoaster ride for me..
awkwardness..

anyway..
now i'm into magic..
learning from jun sheng and benny..
they are great ppl...

ytd performed some magic in eldc..
stopped when a idiotic person named wilber came along..
cuz all he ever does is hack a trick and perform to some of the girls..
i rem wat he said..
wilber:"i dunno why.. but i can charm the girls.. but the guys like anti me.."

well wilber its damn right tat we anti u..
and btw u dun have much charm to begin with anyway..
they are juz entertaining u..

anyway i got a cool trick..
learnt from benny..
to benny thanx for the help..

and janice..
yea.. i finally updated..

gone are the days that i've been hoping for...

2006-04-24T14:39:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting here in ELDC..
Juz read ur blog..
wondering wat happened..
Hope everything is alrite..
hmmmm.. hope to hear from u...

2006-04-20T20:10:00.000+08:00

In ELDC..
man.. dun like it...
its crap lor..
want us to do this and tat..
do wat we learn within such a short time..

haizz..
enuff of rants..

had a great time on sun..
i juz dunno y..
juz feel so comfortable with u...
well..
i know u like chocolates and all..
but rem dun eat in quantity ar..
eat in quality is ok..
haha..

Hope to see ya soon..
=)

2006-04-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

I have lost myself to myself.
I tend to let myself fall.
Fall.
And fall.

Setbacks i face tons of them.
not once have it been a fairytale begining which i was hoping for.
It took awhile to find myself and pick bits of me up.
Thus,
only to break parts of me again.
and lose myself all over again.

Each setback i face,
the more i lose myself.
the more i lose myself,
the more i rely on things to make me numb.
am i dumb?

2006-03-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

supp paper is over le..
OGL camp is also over..

well..
life is abit dull..
i dunno wat to do..
it always seem to go one circle and back to sq 1 again...

dream of having company..
thought tat i had..
but i'm back to lonliness..

i bleed just to know that i'm alive..
i'm numb from things that i gone tru..
if only life was like the movies..
i'll do a retake of my story....

2006-03-21T11:36:00.000+08:00

Music Playing on iTunes: Endless Rain (instrumental)
Mood: abit down

Its raining..
I'm juz sitting here looking at the dark skies..
Been a long time..
some ppl will know wat i'm refering to..

I've been thinking alot..
is she the one??
shld i continue waiting..
or shld i give up..
friends advise me..
some say continue waiting..
some say give up..
one say no matter wat friends say..
its still ultimately ur own decision..
friends can only advise..
u make the decision..

prolly i have come to a decision..
prolly not..
i dunno..
i dun hav a clue..
on my mind now..
is to clear my supp..
this matter would be placed on hold..
juz like how our meet ups are always placed on hold..

2006-03-15T12:54:00.000+08:00

I'm just a simple guy..
with simple needs and wants..
i can't impress u..
compared to the rest of the guys u know..
they are masters at their trade..
i'm juz a jack..
a plain jack..
a jack of all trades...

i dunno wats going on..
i hope to know..
figured tat it started off alright..
only for it to be confusing now..
wants to know u better..
only to find out..
i didn't really know u..

waiting for the opportunity..
only to be depressed for the day..
i knew wat i was getting myself into..
ur someone busy..
and at the start i promised tat i won't complain..
prolly tiredness has gotten to me..
i'm still waiting..
ain't i the foolish one...

2006-03-11T01:10:00.000+08:00

Is my life juz a waste of time??

was talking to sean last nite...
he talked abt stuff tat got me thinking..
he said his life is dull..
its always eat, slp, work and game..
He hope to start throwing hoops again...

The conversation got me thinking..
have i actually wasted my life..
thinking back at the camp..
xiao ming is a master at kayaking..
benny is gd at magic tricks..
ameer(hope its the correct spelling) a gd entertainer..
all of them were masters at certain points..

come to me..
i know abit of here..
abit of there..
even sean..
he is gd with com knowledge..
have i wasted my life...
being a jack of all trades...
but a master of none...

I'm getting sick and tired of my life..

2006-03-07T15:53:00.000+08:00

been a long time..
well..
been thinking..
how does one accounts for friendship..
well...
i find that those u actually call friends..
aren't really friends..
only those who have gone tru the thick and thin of things..
those are the ones worthy to be actually called friends..

well.. some ppl juz get angry at the slightest of things..
i'm slightly deaf in my ear..
if u get frustrated by me say "hur?"
i got nothing to say..
for those who know me i hav high tolerance level..
well..

i'll only snap in 2 conditions:
1) i have tolerated ur behaviour for far too long..
2) wrong day, wrong place, wrong timing, wrong atmosphere
(when i say wrong means that day my mood wasn't good to begin with..)

been having loads of time to sit and think on matters which concerns people..
2 headed snakes...
such people.. wat shld i say..
on one hand.. juz acts normally..
on another spiteful, revengeful, back stabbing..

*a friendly warning to all*
i'm not one that is nice to be trifled with.. i dun flare up often..
doesn't mean i won't flare up.. u can always ask my closest buddy..
when i flare up its no holds barred..
and btw if people wanna pick a fight.. i might be tempted to juz fight..
do all the above.. unless u wanna see friendly side of me...

2006-02-09T17:23:00.000+08:00

life has been on the busy side for the past couple of days..
as its the final week of the semester..
gawdammit..
so fast over le..
another sem to go..
TEP..
followed by IPP..

most of my poly mates will be out of poly..
so sianzz..

in 6 more days the day which lovers celebrate relationships..
guess would be lonely on that day again..
life's a bore..
when will it get exciting..

2006-01-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

Kenny Loggins - For The First Time

Are those your eyes? Is that your smile?
I've been lookin’ at you forever,
Yet I never saw you before.
Are these your hands holdin' mine?
Now I wonder how I could've been so blind.

For the first time, I am looking in your eyes.
For the first time, I’m seein' who you are.
I can't believe how much I see
When you're lookin’ back at me.
Now I understand what love is.......
Love is.....for the first time.....

Can this be real? Can this be true?
Am I the person I was this morning,
And are you the same you?
It's all so strange. How can it be?
All along this love was right in front of me.

For the first time,
I am looking in your eyes.
For the first time, I'm seein’ who you are.
I can't believe how much I see
When you're lookin’ back at me.
Now I understand what love is.......
Love is.....for the first time.....

Such a long time ago
I had given up on findin' this emotion ever again.
But you’re here with me now.
Yes, I've found you some how,
And I've never been so sure.

And for the first time, I am looking in your eyes.
For the first time, I'm seein' who you are.
I can't believe how much I see,
When you're lookin back at me.
Now I understand what love is.......
Love is.....for the first time.....

( a nice song from a nice someone)

2006-01-05T00:44:00.000+08:00

Filming today...
used to being behind the cam..
hahaha..

well feel so bad..
i like remind the crew abt this and tat...
dammit..
shld zip up my mouth..
forget tat i'm in the cast and not the crew..

ARGH!!!
y they didn't hav media studies during my year...
i so love being behind the cam...
might pursue that road..
and its a BIG MIGHT...
hahaha..

the crew..
u guys and gals did a great job i think..
hopefully u all will get gd grades for this..
=)

hahahaha..

2005-12-26T20:24:00.000+08:00

back at blogging i guess..

can't help but wonder..
y am i always so unlucky in life..
i've always help my friends..
been there when they need help..
yet..
the freaking guy up there plays stupid jokes on me..
welll..

been going out the past few days..
went out with ppl who sort of made my life different..
welll..
it turn one round and end up to the same place again..
dullsville or shittyville..

2005-12-14T22:26:00.000+08:00

King Kong is a great show..
really shows the humane and inhumane side of mankind..
and how one beast would have such a humane side..
how it suffered.. misunderstood by mankind..

was it wrong to ever believe in protecting the one it love??
was it wrong to love someone??

the beast for love, fought to protect, died in belief.

mankind could not fathom wat the beast did for the girl.
all was done in the intention of protecting its love one.

i can relate to king kong.
i would give up almost anything for my love one.
but wat would others know.
people would say this is a stupid thing to do.
wat would people know.
u will also do anything juz to accomplish wat u believe in..

tell me is it wrong to love??
is it wrong to care for people??

2005-12-02T23:19:00.000+08:00

Life been ok for the pass few wks..
change my bag le..
well..
thats all that change..
i guess..

maybe my temper also change..
kinda on a short fuse once in awhile..
dunno y..

life didn't change much..
still as life less as usual..
y couldn't i juz get on with life..
life juz stop in its track for me..

wat the hell am i saying??
i gotta try to get out of this runt..
i hav wonderful friends..
who stood by me...
ppl whom made me realise my existence is not futile..

I create my fate,
I'm binded to it.
No one has the power to tamper with it.
For as I and only I has the power to control my own fate.

Penned by Takuhara27 (not sure if anyone came up with this before..)

2005-11-15T22:53:00.000+08:00

when one feels insignificant,
it can utterly shatter one's ego,
one's pride..

"One's confidence is like a mirror,
the mirror can glow,
the mirror can look jaded.
and ultimately,
the mirror can be broken."

y do i feel this way??
someone say cuz i'm deprieve of slp thats y i think nonsensical stuff..
someone say cuz its juz becuz i'm feeling abit down.

abit down is juz an understatement.

have i ever been given a chance??

2005-11-11T00:16:00.000+08:00

Hyde - Evergreen

I lie awake beside the windowsill
Like a flower in a vase
A moment caught in glass.. Mmm

The rays of sunlight come and beckon me..
To a sleepy dreamy haze
A sense of summer days.. aa

If only I could stop the flow of time
Turn the clock to yesterday
Erasing all the pain.. mm

I've only memories of happiness
Such pleasure we have shared
I'd do it all again

This scenery is evergreen
As buds turn into leaves
the colours live and breathe
This scenery is evergreen
Your tears are falling silently

So full of joy you are a child of spring
With a beauty that is pure
An innocence endures.. aa

You flow right through me like a medicine
Bringing quiet to my soul
Without you I'm not whole

This scenery is evergreen
I need you far too much
I long to feel your touch
This scenery is evergreen
You've always been so dear to me

This scenery is evergreen
It sorrows at the sight of seeing you so sad
This scenery is evergreen
I wish that I could dry your tears

The bells have rung the time has come
I cannot find the words to say my last goodbye
This scenery is evergreen
You've always been so dear too me

2005-11-06T09:00:00.000+08:00

What sort of friend am i??

What sort of a guy am i??

these are the qns i ask a couple of my friends..

first thing they ask were..

y the sudden-ness in asking this qns..

well..

can say..

i've been feeling out of place..

feel like i'm drifting away..

juz feel like a fish out of water..

one of them say..

nth has happen..

everythings still the same..

prolly is juz me..

extremely sensitive to my surroundings..

juz got this feeling like ppl are asking me to "fuck off"..

i dunno..

another friend say i need sometime alone..

think things tru..

ask myself the qns i asked..

and not ask ppl wat they think is me..

but..

the more i ask myself..

the more qns i hav..

the more qns i hav to ask myself..

the more irritated i'll be..

i dunno the difference between fair weathered friends..

and my close friends anymore...

i seem to hav drifted from them..

is it true??

hav i drifted??

wats the reason??

let me know if i'm still with the flow..

confused..

mixed feelings..

2005-10-29T02:02:00.000+08:00

One month has passed..

Since that nite..

no matter wat..

by hook or by crook..

i hav to begin a new chapter..

I dun whether u'll come across this..

u said urself u long time nvr come to my blog le..

well..

juz in case..

I gave myself 1 month..

I dunno how long u gave me..

eventhough i might still be a little overly caring..
and protective abt u..

pls give me somemore time..

i'll gradually stop doing it..

juz to make u happy..

ur a friend i won't wan to lose..

Hope to hear from u soon..

2005-10-26T17:39:00.000+08:00

I'm walking in the rain
Yuku ate mo naku Kizutsuita karada nurashi
(I don't know where I'm going, my injured body is wet)
Karamitsuku Koori no zawameki
(I twine around the sound of ice)
Koroshi tsuzukete Samayou itsumademo
(I go on with killing, I'm wondering for eternity)

Until I can forget your love
Nemuri wa mayaku
(Sleep is narcotic)
Tohou ni kureta Kokoro wo shizukani tokasu
(It melts my uncertain heart quietly)
Maiagaru Ai wo odorasete
(My love is spinning)
Furueru karada wo Kioku no bara ni tsutsumu
(My trembling body wraps with the rose of memories)
I keep my love for you to myself

* Endless rain, fall on my heart Kokoro no kizu ni
(Endless rain, fall on the wound of my heart)
Let me forget all of the hate, all of the sadness

Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by
As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me
You're just an illusion
When I'm awaken, my tears have dried in the sand of sleep
I'm a rose blooming in the desert

It's a dream, I'm in love with you
Madoromi dakishimete
(While dozing off, I embrace you)

* Repeat

I awake from my dream
I can't find my way without you

The dream is over
Koe ni naranai Kotoba wo kurikaeshitemo
(I can't tell you that, so I still repeat you those words)
Takasugiru Haiiro no kabe wa
(That grey wall is too high for me)
Sugisatta hi no Omoi wo yume ni utsusu
(I describe the dream of that past day's memories)
Until I can forget your love

* Repeat

Endless rain, let me stay
evermore in your heart
Let my heart take in your tears
take in your memories

* Repeat

Endless rain...

2005-10-17T00:36:00.000+08:00

Last post...
before i begin a new chapter..
or at least die trying..

for the past month..
i've been confused..
i've been doubting ppl..
i've been a nuisance to someone..
but well she is understanding
through out this whole month..

I assume alot..
made an arse out of myself..
thanx to the ppl who listen to me rant..
thanx to the people who put up with my nonsense..
thanx to that understanding someone..

well..
this could be my first and last gd bye..
gotta see if i manage to even begin a new chapter..

well..
watever happens..
juz hope this silly guy..
will finally manage to have some silly luck..
to find a silly girl to be with..

take care people..

Good Bye

2005-10-16T01:34:00.000+08:00

"there can be pure friendship between 1 male and 1 female.
sometimes when a relationship goes beyond that,
it tends to go downhill from there.
a mixture of embarrassment & avoidance
when 1 person makes a move,
the relationship had already taken a turn,
cos u chose to retreat."

(taken from a blog..)

Is this wat happen to us??
did u choose to retreat..
i dunno..
i dunno wats happening..
i dunno wat i'm feeling..
ur impact on my life is juz too great..
feeling so low..
eventhough my face doesn't shows it..
let me know..
pls..
tell me..
dun leave me to guess..
the more i think the more hurt i'll feel..

2005-10-16T00:55:00.000+08:00

I'm Juz A Nobody...

2005-10-14T22:12:00.000+08:00

If i were to say i'm alrite..
I'll be lying to you..
If i were to not be concern with ur well being..
I'll be lying to myself..

I try to forget my feelings..
I try not to think too much..

I juz can't do it..
I still hurting..

In ur presence..
I'll act as if everything is alrite..

But..

Every night..
I stare at my ceiling..
Thinking of u..

I tried replacing..
I tried occupying myself with other stuff..

But..

I juz can't do it...

Guess..
Lonely heart is what I'll be..

If only u were mine..
I would give up anything..
Just to give u everything..

2005-10-14T00:09:00.000+08:00

Life is full of choices to be made,
each choice made will lead you to the next.
But,
don't ever regret.
Cause its a decision made by you.
Its tough to take the first step,
the first plunge to the great unknown.
But,
without taking the first step.
You will never know what it will lead to.
So,
do not regret.
Its your life.

2005-10-11T01:42:00.000+08:00

Splender - I Think God can Explain

There's a lot of things I understand,
and there's a lot of things,
That I don't want to know.

But you're the only face,
I recognize, It's so damn sweet of you,
to look me in the eyes.

It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I’m the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet.

The scent of vaseline,
in the summertime,
the feel of an ice cube,
melting over time,
Well the world seems bigger than both of us,
yet it seems so small,
when I begin to cry.

It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I’m the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet,

I'm so much better than you guessed,
I'm so much bigger than you guessed,
I'm so much brighter than you guessed.

It's all right, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain,
I believe I’m the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm O.K.,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get off of your back,

I think God can explain.
I think God can explain.
I think God can explain.
Yeah...

2005-10-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

came across this old song..
nice..
enjoy...

Oasis - Wonderwall

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat, the word is on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

2005-10-08T11:22:00.000+08:00

X-Japan - Forever Love (translated)

I'll never walk alone again,
the winds of time are to strong.
Ah, it's that what you hurts,
which you'll have to live with...

Ah, this tight embrace,
and this burning, unchanged heart.
In this ever changing time,
love will never change.

Will you hold my heart?
Stop flowing tears.
Again, all of my heart is broken....

Forever love, forever dream
Only flowing emotions,
bury this intense, trying, meaningless times.
Oh tell me why ...

all I see is blue in my heart.

Will you stay with me?
Wait until after the wind passes,
all my tears are still flowing...

Forever love, forever dream
Stay with me like this.
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn.
Oh stay with me...

Ah, everything good seems to be ending,
in this unending night.
Ah, what else would you lose
if nothing at all matters.

Forever love, forever dream,
stay with me like this.
Hold my trembling heart in the dawn.

Oh will you stay with me...
Until the wind passes,
stay with me again.

Forever love, forever dream,
I'll never walk this path.
Oh tell me why, tell me true,
teach me how to live.

Forever love, forever dream,
within flowing tears
Bright seasons will forever change again and again ....
forever love...

2005-10-08T11:18:00.000+08:00

X-Japan - Forever Love

Mou hitori de arukenai
Toki no kaze ga tsuyosugite
Ah kizu tsuku koto nante
Nareta hazu dakedo ima wa...

Ah kono mama dakishimete
Nureta mama no kokoro wo
Kawari tsuzukeru kono toki ni
Kawaranai ai ga aru nara

Will you hold my heart
Namida uketomete
Mou kowaresou na All my heart

Forever love Forever dream
Afureru omoi dake ga
Hageshiku setsunaku jikan wo umetsukusu
Oh tell me why

All I see is blue in my heart

Will you stay with me
Kaze ga sugisaru made
Mata afuredasu All my tears

Forever love Forever dream
Kono mama soba ni ite
Yoake ni furueru kokoro wo dakishimete
Oh stay with me

Ah subete ga owareba ii
Owari no nai kono yoru ni
Ah ushinau mono nante
Nanimo nai anata dake

Forever love Forever dream
Kono mama soba ni ite
Yoake ni furueru kokoro wo dakishimete

Ah will you stay with me
Kaze ga sugisaru made
Mou dare yori mo soba ni

Forever love Forever dream
Kore ijou arukenai
Oh tell me why Oh tell me true
Oshiete ikiru imi wo

Forever love Forever dream
Afureru namida no naka
Kagayaku kisetsu ga eien ni kawaru made
Forever love

2005-10-05T09:48:00.000+08:00

haha..

wat a day ytd..

went to sentosa alone..

haha..

reach at abt 4+..

slacked at coffee bean..

waited for miss clara to knock off at 7++..

she was kinda shocked..

haha..

its a nice place to slack..

got loads of peacock sia..

hahaha..

see la..

who ask u to feed..

now all come coffee bean..

hahaha..

got alot of ang mohs..

den their kids damn cute..

hahaha..

esp when they chase aft the peacocks..

hahhaha..

she finally knock off..

hahaha..

den we left sentosa..

she suggested to go maxwell food centre to eat..

so ok lor..

we travelled to tanjong pagar by train..

and walk to maxwell food centre..

we talked and talked and talked..

hahaha..

someone very blur lor..

can forget abt library books and lost it even before she read it..

hahahahahahaha...

(she gonna kill me le..)

At maxwell food centre..

i had chicken rice..

wanted to get hum jing peng..

but the stall was closed..

the hum jing peng there damn nice lor..

den miss clara had ice grass jelly with atap chee..

cuz she say she not very hungry..

aft eating..

couldn't decide where to walk to..

chinatown mrt..

or raffles place mrt..

hmmm..

den she say she wanna explore around..

den decided to walk to raffles place..

hahahhaa..

den we talk and talk and talk...

the way she cross road damn scary sia..

hahaha..

kinda like me...

well..

she says:"drivers are 70% liable in an accident."

u mean they teach that in business law??

omg..

hahaha..

and i replied:" only in singapore.. don't do it overseas.. they will juz knock u down.."

hahhaha..

we reach boat quey i think..

haha..

den i tempted her..

by saying:" wanna get a walls' triple choc rush??"

hahaha..

i knew it..

its her fav mah..

den she was like..

argh.. y u tempt me...

hahahah...

den we went 7-11

she keep looking into the icebox..

haha..

she was quite determined in not buying..

hahahaha..

den i keep teasing her..

in the 7-11..

den when got out of 7-11..

i got my retribution..

got off a curb..

and *crack* there goes my ankle..

i limp for awhile..

but aft that act tough infront of her..

she was like asking me whether i alrite or not..

den i would juz turn to her and smile :" yea.. i'm alrite.."

hahahaha...

den from boat quey..

we continued walking to city hall mrt..

hahaha..

far sia..

esp with my ankle like dat..

but its ok..

she was beside me...

reached esplanade..

they have this doll thingy on display..

damn cute..

help her take the pics using her hp..

i like the angel on a cloud de..

damn cute..

hahahaha..

den we make our way to city hall mrt..

we talk and talk and talk..

hahaha..

got alot of things to talk abt..

den went home..

to clara: i had a great day.. =) go out again sometime soon?? if u haven watch corpse bride..we go watch?? =D

*wow.. this is a very long post sia..*

2005-10-02T09:11:00.000+08:00

" Life is almost like a computer,
people will ENTER your life.
beautiful memories are SAVED.
sad memories are DELETED.

but one thing is different.
when there is something wrong
with the computer,
you can always REFORMAT it.

BUT,
when there is something wrong
with life
due to something you did wrong,
you can not REFORMAT it,
no matter what you try to do.
It will just never be the same again."

its tough trying to think that nth has happen..
when the person whom u usually talk to..
replies like:"oh. really?? i didn't know."
or there will not be any reply..

maybe i'm just asking too much..
wat am i even to the person..
she could be the most important person in my life..
but to her..
i could just be a normal person..

could it be..
tat i'm jealous..
the way she treats me..
and the way she treats her other friends..
its like so different..
i just can help it..
i keep thinking abt it..

well if u see this..
pls leave me a note or smthing..
just to let me know i'm at least worth a damn..
if ur afraid that ppl will know who u are on my tag board..
used this: special
as ur name..
den tag on my board..

- I'm just a paranoid jack ass, whom is not worth a damn-

2005-10-01T09:30:00.000+08:00

Y is it i feel so shitty..
the purpose of me doing wat i did..
was to get rid of the void..
but..
the void became bigger..
became alot worse..
its eating my life away..

losing my will..
my will to live..
my will to fight..
my will to believe..

it seems that i lost my able limb..
it was torn away from me..
from within..

did u realise it??
i dunno..

how can i right this wrong..
this wrong step..
the wrong choice of words..
the wrong time..

i know u'll come across this post..
but dunno whether u'll say anything abt it..
still waiting..

hoping to hear from u soon..
u know it..
email me..
i dun think i'll appear online for the nxt few days..

"If only life is like the movies,
i'll do that same scene 20 times over.
Just to make sure."

"Eternity is a long time,
Dunno how long i'll live.
I'll be waiting,
waiting for probably,
Eternity."

not now, not ever??
guess its juz one sided part of me..
den juz leave me to die..

2005-09-30T08:16:00.000+08:00

Hope everything is back to the way it is...
well..
watever tats happen..
this few days will be the deciding time..

the ball's in ur court..
u shld know who u r..
its either u wanna end everything or
u can try returning the ball..
i've waited before..
and i'll wait again if needed..

will go back to waiting in silence..
hoping time will do its work..

"If i were to disappear,
will i be in ur memory?
If i were to die,
will u shed a tear for me?
dun shed that tear,
cuz i dun wanna,
and couldn't bear to let u cry."

2005-09-28T22:51:00.000+08:00

well..
today is the 28th..
so i'm 19 years and one day old..
=)
hahahaha..

well.. a few things had happen..
finally done with filming..
manage to take up the risk..
and everything still seems well..

oh ya..
gotta thank ppl here..
thanx huimin and wei loon.. for the treat at carl's junior..
thanx to kim, sherry, sofy, marc, daphne, ariel for wishing me..
thanx to jef and asri for the belt..
thanx to muq, colin, joyce and xiao mei for the t-shirt..
(even though its not the one i wanted...)
but its the tot that counts..
and special thanx to xiao mei..
u should know wat u did..
=)

did i miss out anyone??
if i did.. sry ya..
=)

i have loads of nice friends..
who made the day enjoyable..
THANX!!!

2005-09-25T17:48:00.000+08:00

Key to fate..
Regrets to be written..
Inoculated with dependence..
Sobriety of life..
Tentative steps taken..
Yearning of accompaniment..

Life's meaningless without them.. shld i take the risk??

2005-09-21T00:14:00.000+08:00

Foo Fighters - Best of You

I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?

I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn’t have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can’t choose
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

Ohhhhhh
Ohhhhhh
Ohhhhhh
Ohh

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
Your trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I’ve got another confession my friend
I’m no fool
I’m getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I’ll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

2005-09-19T20:49:00.000+08:00

Well..
another day passed..

today was boring..
went out alone..
well..
not exactly alone..
met up with jef..

members of the BASTARD Inc.
well..
the founder Muqsit is sick..
and fellow member Colin had to go home aft IPP..

den there is also my dear xiao mei..
Kristy..
(BTW, she is not in the BASTARD Inc.)
who slept the day away..
she woke up at 6.30pm..

So i spend the day alone..

went to meet up with jef..
he was returning the camera and all..
den aft that eat the cutlet rice at SP..
to muq: the cutlet rice is damn gd.. =)

---------------------------------------------

on a serious note..

Symptoms of approaching kidney failure:-

high blood pressure
blood in urine
pain in lower back (near waistline)
swelling of limbs
nausea and vomiting

well out of this 5 i got 2 of it..
so does it counts??

well..
my lower back prob is still troubling me..
and i hav high blood pressure..

haizz..
even if i really hav..
nah..
dun wanna talk abt it..

aft reading this..
my xiao mei will confirm ask me go check doc..
muq will say u siao ar.. think so much again..
colin will say dun worry man.. u'll be alrite..
jef will say choy.. touchwood...

2005-09-10T02:06:00.000+08:00

Life's so unpridictable..
dunno y...
haizzzz....

its been roughly 4-5 mths since i got to know u..
well.. wat can i say..
when i saw u at first..
u surprise me..
subsequently..
when i know u betta..
tru SMSes, chats on MSN
and the little chat sessions we have in either north canteen or mac..
u juz practically swept me off my feet..
u r such a unique person..
someone whom puts a smile on my face other than my buddies..

well..
aft all this time..
dunno wat has happen..
dunno whether u come to my blog and read the posts..

in any case..
wanna let u know ur someone special....

2005-09-07T01:42:00.000+08:00

I feel god damn shitty..
ARGH!!!
WTF!!
feel like I'm being played around..

feel like erupting..
feel like going on a rampage..
filled with rage..

ARGH!!!
damn pissed..

if u up there dun kill me..
i'll torment every god damn soul..

2005-09-06T01:22:00.000+08:00

I have never felt so pathetic..
So useless..
So troubled..

For the past few years..
I've been a carefree soul..

Well..
This year..
This carefree soul was shot down..
I dunno how..
I dunno why..

This carefree soul..
was rendered helpless..
And soon..
It became colourless..

For this soul..
To return to its usual carefree self..

It will take the work of..
Someone..
Kind enuff..
Gentle enuff..
Loving enuff..
To enable this soul to soar up high..

Well..
This soul thought..
It found that someone..

Hoping that this time it won't make any mistake..

If that someone manage to come across this post..
This down in the rut soul..
would like to say just this line..
"Please forgive me"

2005-09-04T00:38:00.000+08:00

well..
my mood is alot betta compared to ytd..
cold war with my dad is now: 2nd day le..
dunno how long its gonna continue..

well..
both of us are kinda stubborn..
so dun think will be soon..

dunno y..
hav this feeling that i'm drifting away..
drifting from my friends..
drifting from my family..

this rotten feeling..
hate it..
but can't help it..
prolly..
i'm overly-sensitive to stuff happening around me..

Somebody save me................

2005-09-03T00:06:00.000+08:00

Another day passed,
well..
wasn't in the best of moods..
quarreled with dad last nite..
major quarrel..
didn't talk to him in the morning..
didn't say a word to him at all today..

den went to meet muq at yck..
to go sch..
called my xiao mei..
to remind her to eat breakfast/lunch..
den she got kinda frustrated i guess..
that kinda trigger my unhappiness..

well..
i dun blame her at all..
she didn't know wat happen..
on normal days..
i would tolerate her frustration..
but not today..
due to the fact i got into a major quarrel didn't help much..

so i juz kept quiet most of the time..
when it got till later at nite i started talking..
wasn't so frustrated anymore..

glad i hav friends like them..
able to tolerate me..
almost the whole day..
well..
guess i'm juz too lucky to hav them..

so xiao mei..
dun blame urself or anything..
anyway..
i'm alot betta le..
but dun think me and my dad gonna talk for a long while..

2005-08-29T22:02:00.000+08:00

Today i juz don't really have the privillage of being with my friends..
went to cityhall all alone..
but with hope that maybe will have accompaniment in the evening..

so went to find marc at his workplace..
slack at his workplace for like 2hrs plus..
juz to wait for replies..
the hopes of having companionship for the day was slowly diminishing..

well..
got the replies..
but didn't have the privillage of getting any accompaniment..

but..
thanx to colin..
i didn't had to eat dinner alone..
=)

"Human are emotional creatures and they need company"
this line is so true..
well..
walking around nearly an afternoon alone..
really makes u think..

haizz..
there i go again thinking..
alot of peeps tell me not too think too much..
but..
i juz can't help it..

Watched Sin City on dvd ytd..
was cool..

like this line:
"It's time to prove to your friends that you're worth a damn.
Sometimes that means dying,
Sometimes it means killing a whole lot of people."

2005-08-28T00:05:00.000+08:00

I'm slowly losing hope..
I'm slowly losing confidence..
I'm slowly losing will-power..

Cuz suddenly my life doesn't seem so precious anymore..

Like this picture:

becoming this picture:

well...
guess i lost all my hopes..
my dreams..
and colours of my life..

to all my nemisis:
stab me..
poison me..
shoot me..
strangle me..
saffocate me..
dismember me..

2005-08-21T00:02:00.000+08:00

back from east coast today..
spend the night thinking..
whats a world without me would be like..

well.. didn't come up with an ans to that..

but alot of things came to mind..
i feel that i give in too much le..
maybe cuz i dun expect much from my friends..
juz that i'll help them..
whenever they need help..
perhaps i'm juz their helpline.. FAQ list..
or probably juz probably..
a chair for them to stand above the crowd..

a night at east coast can kill.. the breeze can be a killer..
sitting there alone.. makes u think alot..
how would it be if i disappeared..
would ppl ever notice?? give a damn??
perhaps.. perhaps not..

in the potion of life.. caring for others is redundant..
selflessness is probaly overrated..
so if in ur potion of life includes these 2 ingredients..
wat shld u do..

well.. u should juz hope that u die..
and wish that someone actually attends ur funeral..
*not in the best of mood.......*

2005-08-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

finally exams coming to an end le..
tml is my last paper..
time files...

but i think i'm not gonna do so well for all my papers..
maybe juz a pass.. haizz..
sometimes i wonder is life juz a big joke??
well..
the ans to this depends on how u look at the situation..
anyway i'm absolutely clueless now..

mungkin kamu tidak tahu bagaimana harus bereaksi
tapi aku akan menunggumu

2005-08-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

Exams begin tml...
thinking of my papers..
thinking of her..

dunno wats happen..
she doesn't seem to reply to my msgs..
really hope to hear from her..

at least tml will be able to see her..
miss her so...
haizz...
how i hope the exam period will pass...
in a blink of an eye...

oh ya..
got a new pair of shoe...
present from my sis..
an early one..
my b'day is like on the 27th of sept..
got my present..
nearly one month before my b'day..

ok..
me go off..
go revise abit more...

2005-07-31T11:38:00.000+08:00

Life is but a stage..

what does this mean..

well..

Cuz everyone that i've ever known played a part in this play..
played a part no matter big or small..
The title of the play: my life..

Well this time i gotta leave everything to fate..
and time will reveal everything..

the waiting game has started..
how i wish for it to end soon..

dunno whether u got read my blog or not..
but still..

* happy birthday to u!! =) *

2005-07-22T06:51:00.000+08:00

I'll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what a love can do
I'll be there for you

2005-07-21T21:45:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since i blog-ed..
hmmm.. cuz been busy with projects..

haizz..
i really dunno wats going on..
one minute she can be so responsive..
but the nxt she can juz turn the cold shoulder on u..
sometimes i wonder hav i done anything wrong..
sometimes it can be so tormenting..
guess the only thing is to wait.. wait.. wait..
see how everything goes aft exams..
nxt wk is her b'day..
will be doing something very sweet for her..
=)

ok.. off i go to complete my entre project..
tonite will be a sleepless nite for me..

2005-07-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

WOOT!!
Indonesia made a clean sweep of the men's title in badminton..
AVIVA Singapore Open...
Taufik Hidayat was damn gd!!
He beat world no.1 Lin Dan in the semis..
Den in the finals..
He beat world no.2 Chen Hong..
15-9, 15-3
to clinch the men's single title..

Den for the men's doubles..
Candra Wijaya and Sigit Budiarto show grit to with over the danish duos..
lost the 1st set to the danes 8-15..
den Wijaya and Budiarto fought back in the 2nd set to win 15-8..
It all came down to the last set..
The danes made loads of mistakes..
The indonesian duos capitalized..
And win 15-7 in the final set..

Finally all of the men's titles are back with indonesia..
WOOT!!

haha.. ok back to my own life..
hmmm..
life been kinda ok..
come to think of it..
the guy up there has been quite kind to me..
let me get to know this special girl..
Thanx Man.. haha

now we are friends..
anything more than dat depends on fate..
juz like wat she been telling me..

juz hope the guy up there would treat me alot better..
let me finally be together with someone..
=)

2005-06-29T15:32:00.000+08:00

Back from a long break..
haha..

gotta know this one special girl for like1 month plus le..
kinda funny how 2 ppl can get together and chat like we do..
guess it was fate that let me find her in NYP.. =)
(hope to go out with her again soon)

ok back to y i'm here..
haha..
was kinda bored so decided to drop in here to type somethings out..
Life been quite ok.. sometimes abit bored..
at least sometimes got stuff to look forward for..

now in the lvl 1 com lab of sch..
muq and colin in their services seminar..
the yr2s are in their NE seminar..
so kinda waiting for my best buddy Jef for like 12yrs to come down to NYP (btw, he is a SPian)
haha..

actually had other plans for tonite..
but something came up..
hmmm..
ok running out of things to write le..
hmmm..
hmmm..

think i gotta stop "hmmm-ing"..
haha..
guess will stop here..

"People always say ignorance is bliss. But this phrase i gotta disagree, cuz to be ignorance will only be bliss in certain situation. But based on human nature, its difficult to be ignorent."
*dunno whether ppl say abt this before.. but is a thought =) haha..*

2005-04-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

Lonely No More - Rob Thomas

Now it seems to me,

That you know just what to say

But words are only words,

Can you show me something else?

Can you swear to me,

That you'll always be this way

Show me how you feel,

More than ever baby

I don't wanna be lonely no more,

I don't wanna have to pay for this,

I don't wanna know the lover at my door,

Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more,

But you know I could never stand for this,

So when you tell me that you love me know for sure,

I don't wanna be lonely any more

It's hard for me,

When my heart still on your mend,

Open up to me,

Like you do your girlfriends

You sing to me,

And it's harmony,

Girl what you do to me is everything,

Make me say anything,

Just to get you back again,

Why can't we just try?

I don't wanna be lonely no more,

I don't wanna have to pay for this,

I don't wanna know the lover at my door,

Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more,

But you know I could never stand for this,

So when you tell me that you love me know for sure,

I don't wanna be lonely any more

What if I was good to you?

What you were good to me?

What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me?

What if it was paradise?

And what if we were symphonies?

What if I gave all my life,

to find some way to stand beside you?

I don't wanna be lonely no more,

I don't wanna have to pay for this,

I don't wanna know the lover at my door,

Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more,

But you know I could never stand for this,

So when you tell me that you love me know for sure,

I don't wanna be lonely any more

I don't wanna be lonely no more (x2)

I don't, I don't, I know, I know,

-------------------------------------------------------

A nice song

very meaningful..

2005-04-09T11:14:00.000+08:00

Iris by Goo Goo Dolls
(City of Angels OST)

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel some how
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of the truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.

*Interlude*

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.
(X 2)

I just want you to know who I am.
(X 5)

---------------------------------------------------------------

A great song.. nice lyrics..
I juz want u to know who i am..

2005-03-13T01:04:00.001+08:00

Life is but a stage..
How true can this phrase be..
Got a rude awakening..
Hav i finally flip??
Hav i finally got back my senses??
Finally i can see how real ppl can be..
or should i say how 'FAKE' ppl can be..
Some ppl i know are darn gd actors and actresses..
with their mega-watt smile..
nah.. a betta word.. a mega-'FAKE' smile..

Who to trust??
Guess now i won't trust ppl much le..
Just when i want to start trusting again..
Those whom i trust in..
Failed me miserably..

Other than Jef (my 12 yr buddy)
Daphne (my 'grand-daughter)
Marc (Daphne's dearest)
Colin and Muq (my brudders of C.M.S)
Kristy (xiao mei)
These ppl hav be there when i'm really down..
when i needed someone to talk to..
they will be there..
and do provide secercy in things that i talk to them abt..

Some of those whom i didn't mention doesn't mean ur those kind of ppl..
But juz ur not as close to me as those listed above.
Whereas for the wonderful actor and actress..
Dun worry..
I won't say ur names..
I always provide a veil of secercy..
Should know for urselfs..

And btw.. Xiao Mei.. I won't be going to Malaysia with u all..
U of all ppl shld know the reason y.. hav fun over there ya..

The following 2 quotes are very gd.. and true..
------------------------------------------------------------------

People grow through experience
if they meet life honestly and courageously.
This is how character is built.
~Eleanor Roosevelt~

Personality can open doors,
but only character can keep them open.
~Elmer G. Letterman~

2005-03-09T23:40:00.000+08:00

Righteousness,
Some still uphold the old code of honour.
Some have long forgotten its existence.
Many have perished,
just to uphold it.
Many have killed,
cause of misconception.
So what is righteousness?
To live without guilt?
Or to do things without guilt?

Penned by Takuhara 27

-------------------------------------

This is no.3..
haha..
stay tune tml nite for a new one..
=)

2005-03-09T01:12:00.000+08:00

Judgement,
Its so unfair for one to judge another.
All men has strengths,
All men has weaknesses.
So who is to judge?
You or me?
No one.
For those who judge,
are always the greater fool.

Penned by Takuhara 27
------------------------------------------------
Didn't have much inspiration..
so this might not be as gd as the first one..

2005-03-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

Hmmm..

Chivarly of men have been long forgotten,
been shrouded like rust on an aged knight's armour.
Long lost greed of men have prevail,
the thirst for riches and power have grown.
My what has men become?
Are only riches what they see?
I pity those soul
who have lost their way,
but share their pain,
I shall not.
My heart goes to their friends,
who have to put up with their thirst.
Penned by Takuhara 27.

Something that i wrote..
So i juz put it on blog..
pls comment on it..

(some ppl might know the reason y i pen this verse..)

2005-02-28T12:33:00.000+08:00

Hey Hey..
the last time i blog was like 5 days ago..
Loads of stuff happen durin the past 5 days..
thats y didn't hav time to blog..

24 and 25 was busy with the SBM pagent and MM presentation..
The SBM pagent was kinda successful other than some gliches that came up..
MM presentation was quite ok.. Billie Ooi didn't ask much about it..
So should be ok..

on the 25th nite.. went over to huimin's place with kristy, deen, weiloon and ben..
watched hide and seek and alittle bit of white noise..
slept at 2+ am

on the 26th had to go to sch for law seminar.. woke up around 8.. left around 9 from huimin's place.. damn tired.. haha..

den ytd.. went over to my bro's place to clear up my new room.. damn tiring.. haha.. i'll be moving to woodlands.. nxt sun need to paint the room le..

den now sitting infront of the com at lvl 5 com lab.. typing out this post..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Like an unchecked cancer,

hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity.

Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity.

It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful,

and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.

~ Martin Luther King Jr. ~

2005-02-23T20:19:00.000+08:00

Haizz..

Wat a long day..

Think i gotta clear up some matters..

i maybe easy going..

BUT..

don't u make any decisions without asking me first..

this happen alot of times le..

and i hope it won't happen again..

I'm a very easy going person de..

juz pls pls pls ask me first..

nxt is a matter thats been bothering me..

and i find that should clear up now..

when i treat a girl nicely doesn't mean i'm going aft her..

for god's sake..

i won't say names..

BUT..

hope that the guy can get the meaning..

and pls stop talking behind my back..

wondering how i know..

come on..

i maybe a quiet and perhaps abit blur kind of guy..

that doesn't mean i'm dumb..

and that doesn't mean i dunno wats happening around me..

for ur information..

i'm a very observant kind of guy..

Hope this goes through that thick skull of urs..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be courteous to all,

but intimate with few,

and let those few be well tried

before you give them your confidence.

True friendship is a plant of slow growth,

and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity

before it is entitled to the appellation.

~George Washington~

2005-02-15T16:34:00.000+08:00

Hmmm..

Now in ICT..

Sianzz..

Haha..

Today wake up late..

so nvr go for EFMA..

and *Argh*

Tml got EFMA ICA..

Sianzz..

Tonite muz study le..

Woohoo!!

Spurs made it to the final 16 of the FA cup..

Woohoo!!

Go on Spurs..

Bring the FA cup back to White Hart Lane..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every day you may make progress.

Every step may be fruitful.

Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening,

ever-ascending, ever-improving path.

You know you will never get to the end of the journey.

But this, so far from discouraging,

only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.

~ Sir Winston Churchill ~

2005-02-06T14:38:00.000+08:00

Boring Boring Sunday..

dun hav much to do..

only hav to..

finish up the ICT project..

now kinda slacking infront of the com..

sianzz sia..

hmmm..

need to do stuff slowly..

but still take a little bit of risk..

and make most of the chances given..

juz hope everything turns out well..

my Xiao Mei and Band of Brothers should know..

(kinda nvr mention the few more.. sry ya..)

playing on my itunes: crazy for this girl - Evan and Jaron

hmmm..
nice song..
=)

So as usual..

sign off with a meaningful quote from people of the past..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And since you know you cannot see yourself,

so well as by reflection, I, your glass,

will modestly discover to yourself,

that of yourself which you yet know not of.

~ William Shakespeare ~

2005-01-31T13:06:00.000+08:00

Phew!!

had a long badminton game with muq and colin..

been a long time since we last played..

was fun..

shld do it again sometime soon..

Now kinda relaxing at the com lab..

trying to cool off..

haha..

hmmm..

life's been kinda ok..

still alive and kicking..

kinda learning to keep my emotions in check..

and not rush into stuff..

like i used to..

haha..

can say that i'm a changed man..

my class starts at 4..

3 more hrs..

and the worst thing..

its is a biz finance lect..

will be bored to death..

guess will stop here..

nthing else to write le..

so i'll end with a quote by Leonardo Da Vinci..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff.

Most fails. Some works.

You do more of what works.

If it works big, others quickly copy it.

Then you do something else.

The trick is the doing something else.

- Leonardo Da Vinci -

2005-01-11T16:38:00.000+08:00

haha.. sianzz sia.. in ICT now..

my last post was like 2 wks ago..

kinda lazy to post it on my blog..

on the 7th,

met up with jef, deen, muqsit and colin

and travel around orchard..

saw the worst sight u can see at orchard..

colin and muq shld know wat i'm refering to..

the ballon and pebble theory..

and jef try to get the image outta your head ya..

on the 8th,

went to play streetsoccer with the group..

the group refering to jef, marcus, winston, robbie, HL and kyaw min..

den slack at jef's place till like 6+..

went home and change..

before meeting up with deen and wei loon..

to watch LOTR trilogy: extended version at minty's place..

on the 9th,

woke up around 12+..

continued with the LOTR trilogy..

fin at around 5..

went off with wei loon..

to the dairy farm house..

we went house hunting..

can't seem to find the way there..

but can see the roof of the house..

on the 10th,

which was juz ytd..

went to town with muq, colin and deen..

joined by pal and max..

muq got a new t-shirt from flesh imp..

max and pal got brikenstock sandles..

den went to upp thomson for prata..

den took cab home..

on the 11th,

today..

came to sch at 1030..

had breakfast at mac..

den went for EFMA lect..

kinda learned nth..

cuz slept like 1/2 the lect..

haha..

aft EFMA, went to com lab..

to start on my MM debate report..

started at 1..

completed it at 3..

slack at mac..

den now in ICT lor..

sianzz..

k, me end here..

haha..

gd bye, goed tot ziens, arrivederci, adiós, Auf Wiedersehen and au revoir

2004-12-18T18:10:00.000+08:00

haha!!

boy my last post was like a month ago..

cuz like nth for me to post or nth worth posting..
i've been slacking man..

went to the gym juz now did weights..

ytd went to town meet the gang..

den most of the gang went to ktv..

me, max, pal and shaun (sry if i spell ur name wrongly)

went to eat..

reach home around 12 likdat..

rot infront of my com till like 4 am..

den slp..

woke up damn early..

like 11am..

haha..

kinda boring rite??

tats y i didn't blog for so long =)

haha..

woohoo..

nxt wk x'mas le.. =)

ho! ho! ho!

2004-11-05T13:11:00.000+08:00

Haizzz..

off i go to orchard to meet deen..

he going on shopping spree.. haha..

tat can only mean one thing.. his salary is out..

I guess i'm giving up..

those who know abt the matter..

and wanna know y..

i'll tell u some other time..

for now..

I juz wanna hav some time to get over it..

haizz..

a song tat i've been listening..

Mcfly - Obviously

(it so suits my mood..)

2004-10-31T21:06:00.000+08:00

Its Halloween..

Trick or Treat !!!

Woohoo !!!

it was kinda boring..

spend the day watching vcds..

watched

Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

for the 22nd time..

haha..

den

watched

Van Helsing..

followed by

home-cooked dinner..

den

now here blogging..

haha..

wat a boring, normal sunday..

2004-10-15T19:47:00.000+08:00

Today had my first paper..

Sianzz..

Stats Theory..

But it was gd..

HaHa..

Now i'm sitting in my sch's com lab..

Blogging..(very obvious rite..)

Waiting for Muqsit and gang..

So sianzz..

Aft Mon and Tues paper..

I'll be free le..

Wahaha..

But both papers r some sort of killers..

need to memo lotsa..

haizz..

Dunno how much more brain cells will be gone..

Nowadays..

is..

Study,Study,Study

Haizz..

Marc and Jef..

long time nvr go out with u guys le..

maybe nxt wk bah..

aft my papers..

haha..

Ok..

i end here..

nth to type le..

i'll continue to stone here infront of this com..
waiting for them..

2004-09-28T13:58:00.000+08:00

Sianzz!!
now in my com software class..
1 more hr to go..

Hmmm.. today is the 28th..
and it is raining heavily outside..

Enjoy this song:

Well I just heard the news today

It seems my life is gonna change

I closed my eyes, began to pray

Then tears of joy streamed down my face

With arms wide open

Under the sunlight

Welcome to this place

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready

To be the man I have to be

I'll take a breath, Ill take her by my side

We stand in awe, we've created life

With arms wide open

Under the sunlight

Welcome to this place

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

Now everything has changed

I'll show you love

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

I'll show you everything

Oh yeah

With arms wide open, wide open

If I had just one wish

Only one demand

I hope he's not like me

I hope he understands

That he can take this life

And hold it by the hand

That he can greet the world

With arms wide open

Under the sunlight

Welcome to this place

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

Now everything has changed

I'll show you love

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

I'll show you everything

Oh yeah

With arms wide open, wide open

This is a very nice song..
very meaningful..

too bad the band split le..

2004-09-27T18:40:00.000+08:00

Haha.. Its my b'day..
Haha.. at last legal age le..
haha.. haha.. haha..

hmmm.. Life is filled with surprises.. haha..

Life is juz like a empty book

Friends and Family add colours
Events that happen add the storyline

Every single feeling will be recorded

At the end when we look back
and read that once empty book

we will realise how much we have gone through
so live life to the fullest don't hold back

that is what i always say

but i've never done it

So happy b'day to me i end my post now..
haha.. kinda short rite..

and thanx to all my friends who remembered my b'day
i'm very touched and happy deep inside eventhough i don't look like i'm..

cya all in sch =)

2004-09-07T22:03:00.000+08:00

In life there are 2 ships that U gotta take..
Friendship and Relationship..
But I think I'm gonna give up both..

The last time I felt this much pain and sadness was 3 yrs back..
I took a whole yr and a half to get back on my feet..
During that whole time.. I only kept in touch with my close friends..

When I came to poly I decided to have a fresh start..
Made a huge mistake..
My very first step was a step I think I should not have taken..
Then I had to make up stories..

Juz for ppl to think that I'm ok and well..
And to get them off my back..

No one knew how I felt

U could say I suffered in silence..

Aft today/this u all may think that I'm hard to get along with..

So be it..

For the nxt 2-3 wks I'll be keeping to myself..
I won't be keeping in touch with everyone..
If I sound angry or unhappy..

I apologise..
But for the nxt few weeks try not to provoke me..
Don't ask me why..
I won't answer u..

Will be spending time with the SBM club members & my sec sch friends..

I'll be focusing on what I've started learning..

For this will be the last time I'll be learning a new thing for the sake of someone..

2004-08-03T21:52:00.000+08:00

Hey Hey.. Pai Seh for taking so long to post this..
was kinda busy with projects, fitness level and tests..

Today.. played soccer with deen, yu ming, wen guang, victor, yang fei, ben, musik, max and cherry ( i apologise if i spell ur names wrongly ar)

Scored a goal.. haha..
wen guang is damn gd.. deen also played well but kanna whacked by the ball from head to toe..
musik is a natural poacher.. yang fei has great vision.. ben run damn fast and stamina damn gd..
yu ming and max juz pick it up but played quite well.. victor wat shld i say he keep running around..
And cherry she is gd.. haha.. for a girl she is gd..
Hope to play with u guys and gal again.. =D

ouch.. my calf muscle pain sia.. think run too much..

argh.. 2 more days to my jap test.. help.. haven really studied.. argh..